He uses pillows to masturbate.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
