I wish life had little blips of pornography
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Less talking, more tequila
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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