i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i believe in u and ur pee
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
