so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
