Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
