69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
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so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
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You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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