i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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