just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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