do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
