its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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