Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
