its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
