youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Randomize
