I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
