I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
