She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
