He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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