If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
