So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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