so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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