We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
