there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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