wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Buhtt sex?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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