Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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