question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
