she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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