I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who died my cat blue again?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
