I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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