Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
