So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
