You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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