Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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