Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
