can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
