You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
