Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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