Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i would punch a child for taco bell
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
