carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
