I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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