Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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