I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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