I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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