im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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