In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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