YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Someone signed my nipple.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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