i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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