He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So vagazzling was a success
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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