He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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