She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
