she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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