well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
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Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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