WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize