six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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