you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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