I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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